The tools for
your life
|
|
The tools for
your life
|
              
Loading...
|
What Are The Differences Between Men and Women in Relationships With God?There are differences between men and women in relationships with each other and with God. Men and women often approach their relationship with God differently. So what are these differences? Understanding the differences will help bring you clarity and hopefully deepen your sense of understanding in your relationship with God. First let me say, when talking about the differences between men and women in relationships, I will have to generalize. Some aspects may apply to you, some may not. Just take in what really speaks to you. Displays
of Dominance
One
thing both men and women have in common is that they like to feel like
they have some sense of control over things. The difference between men
and women in relationships with God has to do with how they control.
There are 2 traditional approaches to dominance in relationships. One
the the patriarchal approach and one is the matriarchal approach. These
traditions have been passed down and still affect how view our
relationships.
Patriarchal For men in the traditional patriarchal approach to relationships, they like to set all of the rules. Having these rules and boundaries in place gives them a sense of control and security. It's comforting. The danger comes when men expect God to follow these rules that have been set up. Or perhaps a man thinks he is following God's rules and bases his own rules around those. But then God doesn't do what the man thought God should be doing. God does something outside what the man thought were the agreed upon rules and guidelines. This can lead to disappointment and confusion. Having a relationship with God with the thought that it is all about rules takes away the essence of what relationship is all about. It's not about rules, it's about relating and learning and interaction. God is not likely to follow someone's rules for the relationship. Doing that will diminish the relationship and never become really fulfilling. What God wants is for us to put him first, not our rules for how we think we should be with him. Matriarchal Women also like to express dominance when possible. The way they do it however shows one of the differences between men and women in relationships. In the traditional Matriarchal approach, women control the people around them much more subtly. They do it with in attitude of helping rather than the attitude of ruling. In this type of situation, the woman always has the last say about any significant issue. It's an "I know best" and "let me do that for you, I can do it right" type of attitude. These attitudes can lead to not being open to others - even God who really does know best. Matriarchs can often view men as less than themselves. If a matriarch views God as a man, she may really think that she knows how things need to be done and lose out on what would really be best. Matriarchy can also lead to busyness. Look at Martha in the Bible. Martha was so busy trying to make everything perfect for Jesus when he visited her house that she wasn't able to spend time with him. Mary on the other hand, neglected the household duties and instead spent time talking with Jesus. In our relationship with God, we can't be so busy trying to do things for him that we end up not spending real quality time with him. Communication: Talking and Listening One on the differences between men and women in relationships is their communication style. This differences start early on. Fathers speak to their sons using more command tones than they do with their daughters. Mothers on the other hand, use more touch, speak softer and make more emotional responses to their daughters than they do with their sons. In terms of a relationship with God, men might see God as more commanding and possibly controlling than women do. If a man doesn't want to feel or be commanded, they might reject being fully in relationship with God. Another area of communication is talking. Women often speak more than men and about more things. Women often like to talk about events, feelings, or whatever comes to mind. In terms of a relationship with God, this can be helpful. Praying or speaking with God is an important of the relationship. Men tend to be goal-oriented in their approach to things. This can apply to words. Men may often speak with purpose. They don't have the same need to talk about feelings as women generally. This is one of the differences between men and women in relationships that people always talk about. In speaking with God, they benefit by getting to the point and saying what they feel needs to be said. Men and women can learn from each other here. Women may want to consider praying to be not only talking but addressing specific needs and praying in order that certain results may come about. It's helpful to move beyond how you feel and into the area of doing something purposeful about those feelings. Men on the other hand can benefit by going deeper. Instead of focusing only on things that can be seen by an action, they can benefit by transcending and experiencing God's Spirit. Listening Listening is an important part of being in relationship with God. There are differences between men and women in relationships in terms of how they listen. Men may not want to listen as sometimes see asking for and then waiting for help as a sign of weakness. A man may "break down" and ask for help from God but then listening and accepting the help may be even more difficult. Some women who really enjoy talking may have trouble listening also. It can be difficult for women to still their minds and really wait and listen for what God has to say. Women see strength in going to others and to God for help however and so listening for what God has to say may come a little more naturally. In Conclusion .... One thing to keep in mind is that although there are differences between men and women in relationships, God has created man and woman to be different. These differences help us to learn from each other and grow further into relationship with God. Neither way of relating is better than the other. Growing in relationship is the most important part. The differences between men and women in relationships are an important factor for us to keep in mind for our spiritual growth. Back to the top of: Differences Between Men and Women in Relationships
|
|
